It’s here. And it can be yours to fall in love with right now. Today. It’s a member of the illustrious line of AJATT products, and it’s called My First Japanese Storybook. Or, as we Japanese like to call it:

マイファースト初めてのジャパニーズ絵本。

Manipulatively-Worded Promise

• “My First Japanese Storybook” might make you thin, pretty, happy, safe and popular insofar as there is a nonzero hypothetical probability that…OK, no it won’t. But…in theory, what if it did? No? No…

What the…?

OK, seriously though — here’s the deal. It’s:

• An illustrated storybook, much like the kind you so enjoyed as a child, back when everything was safe and happy and…stuff.
• 24+ pages
• Bilingual (Japanese text + English translation)
• Illustrations on every page
• In PDF format (so, an electronic book), with
• Furigana on all kanji (yeah, baby)
• A sentence flashcard pack for use with an SRS (a lot like “MFSP”, with even cooler formatting), containing phrases from and inspired by the book.
• MP3 audio recording of its content (it’s like having your virtual mommy read aloud to you!)

Who The…?

My First Japanese Storybook is intended for anyone at any level of Japanese, from egg to caterpillar to butterfly. As long as you’ve gone through Remembering the Kanji and know your kana, then you, too can read and enjoy the book — thanks in no small part to the ruggedly handsome support materials (translation, SRS deck).

I Want Mine! Gimme One!

And you can have one.

My First Japanese Storybook: $21.95

Buy It. Try It. No Likey? No Payey!

Let me be Khatzumoto with you: I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m still new at this product-making stuff. Maybe you’ll like the storybook, maybe you won’t. So, as with all its predecessor products, My First Japanese Storybook comes with a 100%, no-questions-asked refund guarantee. If you don’t like it, just email qrg at ajatt dot com. One word: “refund”, will suffice -– you don’t need to give a reason. You’ll get your money back, and you can keep the storybook for free. That’s just how we roll up in here at “the ‘JATT”.

May I See A Sample First?

Just buy it. And if you don’t like it, ask for a refund. Buy it. Try it. No likey? No  payey. That’s part of the point of the refund policy — it allows you to buy with impunity, and me to sell without guilt. No buyer wants to be saddled with a product they don’t like, right? And this seller doesn’t want to give you one, either. Hence the very simple and open refund policy.

Your happiness matters more to me than rapidly devaluing dollars,   so…use the refund policy. There are other AJATT products already out there, and there will be even more in the future — you only need pay for the ones that you do like.

Rather than try to figure out whether you’re going to like the product before the fact, you can make that decision after you buy it and use the real thing. The real thing is the sample. AJATT readers — that’s you — are a smart, good-looking and honest bunch, so…don’t worry…I trust you . Go on…

The QRG video has arrived! The QRG video, nicknamed “QRG: The Movie” is a video supplement to the best-selling ebook of similar name — the quick-start, action-oriented, no-nonsense AJATT Quick Reference Guide (QRG).

As is the custom here at AJATT, let me be the very first to tell you precisely and in no uncertain words:

Why You Don’t Need The QRG Video And Why You Shouldn’t Buy It

• No special effects
• No hot chicks
• No hot guys
• No hot anything, really
• My Mum says I’m handsome, but does that really count?
• No 3D animation
• No popcorn
• In the background, you can still see the tape marks from when I used to try to prevent my cats opening doors (those clever motherlovers…)
• No batteries included
• I hadn’t shaved
• My posture was bad
• It’s a monologue
• There’s virtually no Japanese in it.
• Which is pretty funny for a site called “All Japanese All The Time”.
• Wanna know what’s even more funny?
• 日本語を全く解さない癖に一々「アイツのホームページはさぁ、やっぱ日本語足りないんだよね」とかホザいてる馬鹿野郎が
• That’s what’s freaking funny.
• 百年早いぞｺﾉﾔﾛｰ
• There’s lots of mumbling and rambling. To quote Tolkien verbatim: things were mumbled that shouldn’t have been mumbled.
• At one point in the video, I inexplicably feel the need to tell you that I read a lot of books — intellectual small man syndrome, hmmm?
• I have a weird, hard-to-place, mid-Atlanticy accent thing going on that is neither here nor there, and thus, ultimately, hard for everyone to understand.
• I then take this accent and mumble in it.
• It’s full of unfunny jokes.
• That I then laugh at.
• Yes, I laugh at my own jokes.
• You could just read the AJATT site.
• You could just read the QRG ebook.
• “They” (air quotes) don’t want you to have it.
• A good number of fellow AJATTeers have put up free AJATT walkthroughs on YouTube. For free. For free, meng.
• It comes with free membership in the AJATT cult wait…baby steps…baby steps…

So Who Would Want To Buy The QRG Video?

• People who bought, enjoyed and benefited from the QRG ebook
• People who have enjoyed and benefited from previous AJATT videos
• People who have read, enjoyed and benefited from AJATT articles
• People looking for a lazy, “hands-free” but action-oriented overview of the AJATT “method”
• People who prefer verbal explanations.
• People who prefer watching a video to reading large amounts of text
• People who want to get right to the AJATT “action” without wading through large amounts of interesting but “less action-oriented” individual.

The AJATT site, this site, has grown into a compendium of brilliantly insightful articles written by an incredibly handsome man. This is a good thing. The one weakness is that, well, it’s all very large, and can tend to leave you wondering “OK, but what do I DO?”.

The QRG series has been designed to fulfill the specific need to “get straight to the action”, without sacrificing the more universal and context-independent appeal of many of the articles you typically find here on the site.

Some things are best read, some things are best heard, some things are best said and heard. The QRG video, in combination with the QRG ebook, covers all these bases for you. One of the coolest parts of the video, I think, is the oral walkthrough of the entire AJATT “philosophy” (AKA “mental tools”) section.

Over and above that is the “greater than the some of its parts” effect, that inexplicable magic you get in a video that text can never quite replicate. This video is a lot like sitting with me, in my “Fortress of Solitude”, having a conversation. If that’s something you would enjoy, then I think you might enjoy this video as well.

What’s In The Package?

• A video file — digital download.
• WMV format.
• File size: Approx. 425MB
• Running time: 81 minutes
• All the points in the QRG are covered with sparkling wit and verve.

For best results, I recommend you:

• Get the QRG ebook as well, if you don’t already have it. This video is designed to be used in combination with the QRG ebook, and assumes that you already own it.
• Be learning Japanese. This video, like the current QRG ebook, is quite specifically focussed in that direction.

Own It Now!

Your copy is waiting for you. But “they” may try to take it away! So panic. Buy now. Treat yourself. You deserve this. Do something for yourself for a change! Et cetera .

• QRG Video Only: $25.95
• QRG Video + QRG Ebook + My First Sentence Pack Bundle: $35.95 (save over 37%).

No Likey? No Problem!

As with all its predecessor products, the QRG video comes with a 100%, no-questions-asked refund guarantee. If you are in anyway unhappy with the product, just shoot me an email at qrg at ajatt dot com, and I will be happy to give you a full refund on your purchase.
Even if I try to ask questions, you can be all “nuh-uh…no questions!”

One man. One mission. One destiny. One walkthrough video.

This season’s greatest semi-educational blockbuster is coming soon to a PC near you!

Feel the magic.

Believe the miracle.

Use more abstract nouns.

Enjoy the hype.

Verily! It is here! “My _{[or, I guess, your]} First Sentence Pack”. A set of over 500 short, fun, easy, useful example sentences to get you started with the so-called “AJATT Method” of learning Japanese.

Joy!

But, you know what? Behind all this humor, the off-color jokes, the eye-catching banners, the inflammatory comments about already-victimized ethnic groups, and the videos with bad sound quality, there hides a hideous, pus-oozing, gangrenous secret. That secret being the fact that I don’t know Japanese and this is all a hoax to fool you:

You REALLY Don’t Need This. No, Really.

You really don’t need this. I mean, you really don’t need to buy this. You need this even less than you needed the QRG. I mean, buying stuff? Are you joking? In THIS economy?! _{(This is a great break-up line, by the way: “Stacy, I really care about you, mmm kay? But I just feel that it’s not right for us to keep seeing each other in this economy…”, and then next day you’re like “Yeah, dude, I totally broke up with my girlfriend last night…you know, with this economy…”)}
Seriously — why are you even online now? You should just turn off your computer and the lights to save on power…

Also, Japanese literature of all forms is produced in massive quantities. The Japanese language was the first in the world in which a novel was written. The top FIVE highest-circulation newspapers on the planet (including the only newspapers with circulations exceeding 10 million copies) are all published in Japan, in Japanese — not the US, not the China, not the India, but the Japan. Japanese is also the language with the most blogs — more than English, even. There is no shortage of “Japanese sentences” in the world, out there, for free, even.

So Why Would Anyone Even Want This?
_{(And why have I used the word “even” in three consecutive sentences?)}

For the same reason people would want the QRG. Because, when you’re first starting out, things are daunting; things are confusing; everything is new. There’s a lot on one’s proverbial plate. One less thing to worry about can make things just that much quicker and easier. The key words here are ease, convenience and, to quote a Simpsons episode, “can’t somebody else do it?”. Sure, you could go find all your first X hundred sentences yourself, but if the feeling is right and none of the major religions of the world have a problem with it (?) then…you know…one or two sentence packs here or there never killed anyone…hopefully…probably.

Can’t somebody else do it?

Somebody else can do it, my friend. And he already has. Just for you.

What’s In The Package

“My First Sentence Pack” (I am desperately resisting the urge to call it MFSP…must stop…creating…acronyms) comes as an electronic book in PDF format, clocking in at just over 200 pages, containing more than 560 Japanese sentences, with English translations and brief explanations where necessary. Check out this sample page.

Being in electronic format makes the sentence pack ideal, because you’re saved all that slow typing. Those who know, know that what really kills about typing isn’t the actual sentence, but all the ancillary info that goes along with it. Not to mention the increased risk of error. Until now, beginners have mostly had to rely on beginner books (as I did), which are, well, books, on paper. Now all you need do to get your sentences is copy and paste. The idea here is to bridge the gap between “0″ and “independently using native [electronic] media sources, such as blogs”.

Each example sentence is made up of two basic parts: “front” and “back”, just like actual paper flashcards. The front carries the sentence, the back its translation, kanji readings and any extra info if applicable.

A Word On SRSing And Sentences

While this sentence pack is and will be useful and has been made with the best of intentions, please remember that it is not a substitute for exposure to real Japanese. That is, Japanese made by and for native users.

These sentences have been written/chosen as good representatives of fun, simple natural usage. They steer clear of a lot of the sleep-inducing, hyper-didactic, unnaturally anglicized stuff [case in point: incessant pronoun use] that seems to be common in Japanese beginner materials. However, they (1) by no means represent “everything you will ever need to know”, (2) are slightly biased towards things that are easy to translate into/explain in English, and (3) were selected for an audience of non-Japanese speakers (not that you’re not Japanese, but… ) — at some subtle level, this “contaminates” them.

Fundamentally, the Japanese you want is the Japanese that Japanese people get, not the Japanese that someone, even a handsome, charming, well-meaning someone, prepared and selected for you. In other words: these sentences are like training wheels — use them, but you want to ride the bike for real as soon as you can. That’s where all the fun is, and it’s where the bulk of your learning, both in terms of time and quantity, will take place.

In any case, Japanese is full of things that are hard to translate/explain, or seem complex when explained, but that are super easy to understand when you just expose yourself to the language as it is.

So, to conclude, keep being Japanese, keep experiencing more Japanese, and things will get clearer and clearer. Thank you again, and have fun!

さあ、to the sentences!

Buy It Now, Baby !

You know the drill: All that’s left to do is click. Your copy is waiting for you. Buy it now. Do it. You need this. You want this. You deserve this. You’re worth it. Treat yourself. Those aren’t blemishes, those are beauty spots. Et cetera.

You can get your My First Sentence Pack either by itself or bundled together with the QRG/Quick Reference Guide. Choose whichever path suits you best. I’m open-minded like that.

OR

• My First Sentence Pack: $15.95 (special early-buyer price thru October 5: $7.95) OR
• My First Sentence Pack + QRG Value Bundle: $19.95 (save over 30% )

Satisfaction, Or Your Money Back

This is the second “Original AJATT Product” to come out. So, I’m just starting out making these. If you are less than happy with it, don’t sit there feeling bad , just contact me for a full refund: qrg at alljapaneseallthetime dot com — you even get to keep your purchase after the refund . More AJATT products are on their way, so in the exceeeeedingly unlikely event that you don’t like this one, I’m sure there’ll eventually be something you do like. Until then, take a refund .

K. Look. I want you to buy the QRG. I really do. I want you to buy two! No, I want you to buy ten! One for everyone in your nuclear family, and maybe one for the grandparents and a favorite uncle or aunt. And of course, the family pets. Indeed, the QRG is the only thing in the world that will make you happy, popular and thin. But you know what?

You don’t need the QRG

You don’t. You don’t need to buy this. If you would just freaking read this site — there is a table of contents — the information is there. For free. Even within the QRG itself, I have links to certain articles here on the actual AJATT site. Because, you know what? I did write this stuff for reading. Now I’m just being rude .

Also, if you’re already at the point where you’re doing monolingual sentences (implying that you’ve long been immersing, know kanji and all that good stuff), then there will be virtually nothing in the QRG from which you can benefit. No 裏技 here…there’ll be another time, place and product for those.

Anyway, since you’ve read this far, it looks like I can’t dissuade you from purchasing the QRG. So, I guess I should let you know:

What’s In The Package

In version 1.0, simply an ebook. PDF format. About 50 pages. Sparse text, strong visuals — like a slideshow. Japanese-specific. Batteries not included. It is short. Brief. Laconic. That’s the point. “Quick” Reference Guide, not “The Bible”.  Where AJATT the site is about laughs and verbosity, the QRG has taken terseness to new heights. Where the value of AJATT the site is in what is there, the value of the QRG is in what isn’t; its brevity is its strength. Do not expect AJATT in book form. This is less book and more booklet.

After much comment analysis and one-on-one consulting, it occurred to me that there are, broadly speaking, two types of questions that would-be AJATTeers have.

Question Type The First: I-Missed-A-Major-Part-Of-The-Big-Picture Questions. Questions like “but how do I translate a sentence I can’t understand?” from someone who hasn’t yet touched their kanji, and has clearly missed some major points.

Question Type The Second: I-Think-Khatzumoto-Is-Omnipotent-and-Omniscient-and-I-Want-People-To-Make-Decisions-For-Me questions. “Should I avoid science manga because it’ll make me talk like a scientist?” — that sort of thing. These are questions that, ultimately, I think do not warrant answering because either (i) I don’t know, or (ii) it doesn’t matter anyway, or (iii) common sense — and the self-confidence to act upon it — would tend to lead one to a reasonable answer.

The original idea of the QRG was to cater to this…hunger for minute detail. But I realized that most minutiae are highly personal, ephemeral, and best left to individuals to decide for themselves. I wouldn’t want those decisions made for me, and I won’t make them for you. Part of the fun of learning on your own is not being tied down to what ultimately amount to someone else’s pet rituals that they may eventually just abandon or alter anyway.

The QRG is a funnel, carrying you safely from the jug of confusion into the cup of action. It takes you by its pretty little hand and walks you down the street, keeping you focused only on what you need to focus on. It has detail — but only the detail you need at a particular point in time. With short, concise explanations, a simple, clear structure and more lucid visual aids than you can shake a stick at, it abstracts away extraneous information, protecting you from it until you need to know it, thus helping you maintain that clear and narrowly targeted vision that is essential to actually getting stuff done. By imparting an unambiguous macro-level image, and detailed, ordered action steps in their plainest, most vanilla form, it should get you working quickly, and empower you to take independent action with more confidence than before.

Is There Any Information That’s In the QRG That’s Not At All Here on the AJATT Site? Yes. A whole special section on AJATT time management, new diagrams, and cetera.

So Who Does Need the QRG? People who want to acquire Japanese, but don’t know where to start, and are intimidated by the table of contents, unsure what action to take. One of the minor weaknesses in the otherwise perfect and holy main AJATT blook (this site) is that it doesn’t tell you when to stop reading and go do something. And it doesn’t always tell you when certain information applies to you and when it doesn’t. The QRG takes care of that. Videogamewise, it is a careful walkthrough.

Can I Have It For Free? No. But Jouzu has this really cool AJATT summary that’s wonderful in its own right and priced ideally for the free stuff enthusiast .

Buy It Now !

So there you have it. All that’s left to do is click. Your copy is waiting for you. Buy it now. Do it. You need this. You want this. You deserve this. Treat yourself. You’re worth it. It will bring MJ back to life; it will make it all better, I swear. Do it.

Go on. You know you want to. The introductory price is a low, low $9.95 (good until November 5, 2009). The price is a low, low $15.95. It will go up, so get it while it’s cheap! Also, look out for a QRG video, sentence starter packs and (maybe) an audiobook, coming soon!

Satisfaction, Or Your Money Back

Finally: Your happiness matters to me more than your money. Actually, that’s not true at all, but it seems like the sort of thing one should say in these situations . Anyway, if you are less than happy with the QRG, don’t sit there feeling bad, just contact me for a full refund: qrg at alljapaneseallthetime dot com

Hey! So…yeah…I was sitting there, industriously clicking and typing away, minding my own business, when suddenly I fell sick (again!). But then I went to see the doctor (great guy!) and he gave me the merchandise (drugs!) and now I feel better (good drugs!), and so…the QRG will be with you. Just 10 days later than expected.

Anyway, thanks for waiting .

P.S. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that that “only” treating symptoms is a bad thing.