This is the story of a fictional boy, his fictional laptop and the fictional operating system “Mado QG”, a piece of software (in the most liberal sense of that word) that takes its sweet time starting up.

It’s all a thinly veiled jab at Microsoft Windows, with the added benefit of being a fun way to learn some Japanese (I hope). Um…yeah, I don’t actually hate Microsoft, and Windows XP is actually really good, I think. But it would be uncomptutergeekish to not make fun of the world’s favorite OS.

For a translation/explanation, scroll down to the bottom , after the story panels. Enjoy!

Oh, and here’s the audio for the story. The background music is by Kevin McLeod (thanks!). He takes donations, too .

未だか。
■まだ【未だ】①一定の時期･段階に達していない､また､その時まで同じ状態がつづいていることを表す｡今でもなお｡いまだに｡｢未だ帰ってこない｣
■か①文語｡自問を示す｡
■Not YET?
■STILL?

よっし、パソコンを使おっか。
■パソコン
｢パーソナルコンピューター｣の略｡｢パソコンゲーム｣
■使おう=Let’s use
■か①文語｡自問を示す｡
■つか･う【使う･遣う】③〔物を〕用に当てる｡役立たせる｡もちいる｡｢だしに使う｣
■Right, time for some PC action.
■Right, let’s use our PC, shall we.
■Okee dokey, time for some computer action.

スイッチ入れてポチッと
■スイッチ
①電気回路の開閉や切り換えを行う器具｡開閉器｡点滅器｡
②鉄道の軌道の切り換え装置｡転轍器｡ポイント｡
■い･れる【入れる】
⑤〔明かり（あかり）･電気などを〕付ける｡
■And we turn on the switch: “cha-chin”.

窓QG。起動中って。
■まど【窓･R窗】①採光･換気･展望などのために天井や壁面に設けられた開口部｡ふつう､ガラス戸などをはめることが多い｡
■きどう【起動】②発電機･発動機･蒸気機関などが運転を開始すること｡始動｡
■ちゅう【中】②その事が現在行われていることを表す｡その事態にあることを表す｡｢会議中｣｢作業中｣｢故障中｣
■って①引用の格助詞｢と｣に同じ｡
■”FenestralOpening QG. Loading”, she says.
■”FenestralOpening QG. Starting up.”, she says.
■”Windows QG. Starting up”, she says.
■”Windows QG Starting up”, huh.

窓QG。未だ起動中。
■Windows QG. Still starting up.

苛苛している。
■いらいら【苛苛】①思い通りにならずあせって落ちつかないようす｡じりじり｡
■苛苛する
■Getting annoyed.
■Getting angry.

窓QGが未だ起動中。苛苛しているし、年取っている。
■Windows QG is STILL starting up. Getting angry AND getting old.
■としをとる【年を取る】年齢の数を加える｡老齢になる｡老いる｡

苛苛して、年取って死んだ。窓QGは未だ起動中。
■Got angry, grew old and died. And Windows QG is STILL starting up.
■としをとる【年を取る】年齢の数を加える｡老齢になる｡老いる｡
■し･ぬ【死ぬ】①生物の呼吸がとまり､命が終わる｡息をひきとる｡息絶える｡

終わり
■おわり【終(わ)り】①〔空間的･時間的に続いているものの〕それ以上先がないところ｡しまい｡最後｡
■The end

In the pattern of Dick and Jane, here is another short “children’s story” in Japanese, about a boy called Kenya (yes, that is a Japanese name) who hates waking up. Explanations are at the bottom.

Note: many words have multiple meanings, but it would be too overwhelming to cover them all, so only one meaning per word (i.e. the meaning relevant to this story) is covered here.

健也 ちゃん、起きて！(PL2)
Wake up, Little Kenya
健也 【けんや】 Ken’ya
ちゃん familiar suffix, much like “-kins” or “-meister”, as in “Archiekins” or “Davemeister”
起きる 【おきる】 to wake up/to get up. 起きて is a soft but familiar (informal) command form

月曜日
Monday

健也ちゃん、起きて！(PL2)
Wake up, Little Kenya

何で? (PL2)
Why?/How come?

だって 学校 に 行かなきゃ・・・(PL2)
‘Cause you’ve got to go to school
―なくきゃ is short for ―なければ P, so 行かなきゃ (いかなきゃ）literally means “if you don’t go to school”, with the implication that [things will be bad/the crap will hit the fan]. But of course you don’t need to say the “crap will hit the fan”.
だって because
学校 【がっこう】
行く 【いく】 to go
なきゃ (exp) contraction of なければ

だから？ (PL2)
So?

だから 早く 起きろ! (PL1)
So get up!
早い【はやい】(adjective) quick, early
早く 【はやく】 (adverb) quickly. As you can see, 早く is just a special form of 早い
起きる 【おきる】 to wake up/to get up. 起きろ is very rough command form

火曜日
Tuesday

健也 ちゃん、起きて！(PL2)
Wake up, Little Kenya

何で? (PL2)
Why?/How come?

だって　今日　は　お医者さん　に　行かなきゃ (PL2)
‘Cause you’ve got to go to the doctor’s today
お(御) is an honorific
さん of course is also an honorific

だから？　(PL2)
So?

だから 早く 起きろ! (PL1)
So get the heck up!
起きる 【おきる】 to wake up/to get up. 起きろ is very rough command form

水曜日
Wednesday

健也ちゃん、起きて！ (PL1)
Wake up, Little Kenya

何で? (PL1)
Why?/How come?

だって 電車 に 間 に 合わなきゃ (PL1)
‘Cause you’ve got to make it to your train!
間に合う【まにあう】is a phrase meaning “to make it in time”, so △△△に間に合う is “to make it in time for something”

だから？ (PL1)
So?

だから 早く 起きろ よ、ゴルァ！ (PL2)
So get the heck up, mopho!
起きる 【おきる】 to wake up/to get up. 起きろ is very rough command form
よ is for emphasis
ゴルァ is also for emphasis and just adds to the roughness — it’s stereotypically used by Yakuza when threatening people. It’s can also be said as コラ.

木曜日
Thursday

健也 ちゃん、起きて！ (PL2)
Wake up, Little Kenya

何で? (PL2)
Why?/How come?

だって 仲間由紀恵 が 君 に 会い に 来て 呉れる！ (PL2)
‘Cause Nakama Yukie is coming to meet you!
仲間　由紀恵【なかま　ゆきえ】 is an actress who’s starred in some great dramedies like トリック (Trick) and ごくせん(Gokusen). Currently, she’s the official spokesperson of the cellphone company AU.
君 【きみ】 an informal/familiar word for “you”. Be careful who you use it with — it’s only acceptable with close friends and family who are of an age less than or equal to yours.
会う 【あう】 to meet.
来る 【くる】 to come.　来て（きて） is the form used to connect. A lot of people call this the “te form” of a verb.
呉れる 【くれる　to do for one】. 呉れる is almost always written in hiragana. It’s often used as an auxilliary (helper) verb. So, in this case, 呉れる is “helping” 来る, adding the meaning that someone isn’t just coming, but is coming FOR you. It adds the meaning of “do for someone” to the verb.

だから？・・・ええぇっ！仲間由紀恵　が？マジで?! (PL2)
So?・・・WH-OA, Nakama Yukie?! For real? Are you serious?
が is the subject particle. So, Kenya was going to say: ”仲間由紀恵が来て呉れる” (なかま　ゆきえ　が　きて　くれる), but he’s free to drop the “が　きて　くれる” part as long as it’s clear what he’s talking about.
マジ is slang for “for real”. マジで　is like “really?” or “seriously”. The で doesn’t alter the meaning tooo much, but it does slightly.

そう だ わ。だから 早く 起きて！ (PL1)
Uh-huh. So hurry and get up, mmm-kay.
そう 【That’s right/That’s so】
だ the informal form of です
わ an emphasis word, like よ. わ is mainly used by women.

暫く 経って・・・(PL3)
A little while later・・・
暫く 【しばらく】 a little while
経つ 【たつ】 to pass/to lapse (refers to time)

矢っ張　来ない だろう (PL2)
She’s totally not coming, is she…
矢っ張(やっぱ)　【absolutely/totally】. 矢っ張(やっぱ) is an informal version of 矢張り(やはり）. Kenya could also say “矢っ張り” (やっぱり）. やっぱ and やっぱり are usually written in kana.
だろう 【probably is; likely is】 だろう is a form of だ (as in です). It kind of expresses some doubt (it’s a less certain word than だ）, even when sometimes there is not much doubt.

金曜日
Friday

健也ちゃん、起きて！ (PL2)
Wake up, Little Kenya

眩しい (PL2)
What the bright…Too bright!
眩しい 【まぶしい】 dazzling. Kenya’s Mum just turned on the light, so he says this. Often, in Japanese, you only need to say one word to make a full sentence and describe the whole situation. So you don’t need to say “it is too bright”. You can just say “Bright!”, which (1) makes perfect sense and (2) carries the full meaning of what you intended to say.

何で? (PL2)
Why?/How come?

だって・・・ (PL2)
‘Cause…

だって？ (PL2)
‘Cause?

だって そういう 決まり なん だ！ (PL2)
‘Cause it’s like that and that’s the way it is!
そういう that sort of;
決まり 【きまり】 rule
なん is short for なの. なのだ, なんだ or sometimes just なの intensifies だ. In other words, it’s a stronger version of だ. One can also say なのです or なんです. なん is informal, and is only used in speech.　なの can be used in writing.

誰 が 決めた の？ (PL2)
And just who decided that “it’s like that and that’s the way it is”?
誰 【だれ】 who?
決める 【きめる】 to decide; So, 何かを決める （なにか　を　きめる) = to decide something
決まる 【きまる】 to be decided. You *cannot* say ×(何かを決まる）. This is because 決める is a transitive verb but 決まる is an intransitive verb. What does that mean? Well, a transitive verb can take a direct object — it can do itself TO something. It’s like it “TRANSfers” its action TO the object. An intransitive verb can’t do that — it just is; it just does.
For example.
何かが始まる (なにか　が　はじまる） = something starts
何かを始める (なにか　を　はじめる) = to start something
So, the sentence 誰が決めたの (だれ　が　きめた　の) is actually short for 誰がそれを決めた(だれ　が　それ　を　決めた の), but Kenya drops the “それ　を”, just because he can. Japanese likes to avoid spelling out that which need not to spelled out.
の, when placed at the end of a sentence, makes a question: kind of like か, but much less formal.

この 拳 が！(PL2)
拳 【こぶし】 fist
My fists!
The full sentence would be: この拳がそれを決めた　（この　こぶし　が　それ　を　きめた）= These fists of mine decided it. But again, Mummy is shortening the sentence because that’s just natural in Japanese.

起きま～す (PL3)
Aaaaand I’m up!
起きる 【おきる】 to wake up/to get up. 起きます is the polite (formal) present and future version. 起きま～す is just extended because people do that a lot when talking (especially when trying to sound extra sing-songy polite).

土曜日
Saturday

健也ちゃん、起きて！(PL2)
Wake up, Little Kenya

もう 起きて　いる けど・・・
I’m already up
もう already
起きる 【おきる】 to wake up/to get up.
居る (いる） an auxilliary (helper) verb. Here, 居る is helping 起きる, by adding/strengthening the meaning of “currently being in the state of” or “currently being in the process of”.
Why give 起きる this extra “help”? Well, you can think of it likes this. Since the present and the future are the same in Japanese (起きる・起きます), the て+いる form can help strengthen the idea that an action or state is actually in progress.
けど literally means “but”. Along with other words that mean “but”, it is used to soften the sentence, as if to say “I am awake, but you are free to disagree with this assertion if you so wish”.

あら 何で？
Oh my, how come?

だって 朝 の アニメ を 見なきゃ
‘Cause I’ve got to get my morning anime fix

成る程
I see.

日曜日
Sunday

午前三時半
Half past three in the morning

お 母 さん、起きて！
Mother, wake up!

何で？
Why?

だって そういう 決まり なん だ！
‘Cause it’s like that and that’s the way it is!

って言うか、今 何時？
By the way, what time is it?

午前三時半 でーす!
Half past three in the a.m. marnin’!
でーす is just です said in a sing-songy extended way.

目茶早いじゃん、この野郎！打っ殺し て やる ぞ！
Oh my early! You little punk, I’ll kill you!!
じゃん is short for じゃない, which although negative-sounding (“is-not”) actually has a positive meaning (“is”) in many cases.
殺す（ころす） to kill
遣る（やる） is an auxiliary verb helping　殺す（ころす）. It adds the meaning of “do to you”, so it makes it clear that the 殺すing is being done to the other person, and in this way the speaker can avoid having to use a pronoun like “you”.
打っ（ぶっ） is another auxiliary verb. It comes *before* the verb it helps and strengthens the meaning of that verb. Kenya-chan’s mother isn’t just going to kill him, she’s going ot kill him STRONGLY, with a lot of violence.

終わり
The end
終わる to end. 終わり is kind of like a gerund, in that it’s the form a verb that can be used as a noun.