Comments on: Turn Yourself Into A Monster: What To Do When People Around You Are Not Encouraging Or Supportive http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive You don't learn a language, you get used to it. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:37:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Caren http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-179896 Caren Wed, 28 Dec 2011 23:14:50 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-179896 I started learning Japanese many years ago, but my methods weren't conducive to my learning. Lack of immersion, large focus on grammar, extensive 3-day monking after months and months of nothing were but a few of my problems. There was another problem: perception. When my parents realized I was learning Japanese, they did not approve - or rather, they didn't not approve of it until I learned another language. See, my parents are portuguese but failed to fully get my brother and I to learn it, while all of my 20+ cousins can speak it fluently. This is embarrassing for them and so when they found out I was learning Japanese, they got mad about how I'm not learning the language of their country first. So I stopped studying Japanese at home (where I spent 99% of my non-school time) and only studied it at school during lunch and afterschool sessions. My classmates mostly approved, so it wasn't an issue. However, I didn't have much access to study material. It's not like our school library had anything in Japanese and I didn't feel comfortable buying anything as I didn't want my parents to find material in japanese. It was depressing. Then, MANY years (9 years) later I grew up and realized: I don't give a ****. It's not my fault their language isn't as interesting and I'll learn what I want to learn. If I feel like it, I might learn portuguese AFTER I master japanese and that's that. I went back to learning japanese and my parents once again showed their dislike so I told them that I liked the japanese language and I'll learn it because I want to. That was the end of that and they haven't complained since. Actually, they started being more encouraging. My study habits have improved since and I honestly feel that in a year, I'll be relatively fluent. In the past 6 months since I came back, I've accomplished more than in the 9 years before then. Sometimes, the best thing is to just tell those people you're gonna do what you want to do, and then do it.  I started learning Japanese many years ago, but my methods weren’t conducive to my learning. Lack of immersion, large focus on grammar, extensive 3-day monking after months and months of nothing were but a few of my problems. There was another problem: perception. When my parents realized I was learning Japanese, they did not approve – or rather, they didn’t not approve of it until I learned another language. See, my parents are portuguese but failed to fully get my brother and I to learn it, while all of my 20+ cousins can speak it fluently. This is embarrassing for them and so when they found out I was learning Japanese, they got mad about how I’m not learning the language of their country first.

So I stopped studying Japanese at home (where I spent 99% of my non-school time) and only studied it at school during lunch and afterschool sessions. My classmates mostly approved, so it wasn’t an issue. However, I didn’t have much access to study material. It’s not like our school library had anything in Japanese and I didn’t feel comfortable buying anything as I didn’t want my parents to find material in japanese. It was depressing.

Then, MANY years (9 years) later I grew up and realized: I don’t give a ****. It’s not my fault their language isn’t as interesting and I’ll learn what I want to learn. If I feel like it, I might learn portuguese AFTER I master japanese and that’s that.

I went back to learning japanese and my parents once again showed their dislike so I told them that I liked the japanese language and I’ll learn it because I want to. That was the end of that and they haven’t complained since. Actually, they started being more encouraging. My study habits have improved since and I honestly feel that in a year, I’ll be relatively fluent. In the past 6 months since I came back, I’ve accomplished more than in the 9 years before then.

Sometimes, the best thing is to just tell those people you’re gonna do what you want to do, and then do it. 

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]]> By: Their Freedom To Hate → Your Freedom To Become Great | AJATT | All Japanese All The Time http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-140627 Their Freedom To Hate → Your Freedom To Become Great | AJATT | All Japanese All The Time Mon, 03 Oct 2011 15:01:09 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-140627 [...] ResistanceSocial ResistanceReading and RespectabilityFlame Less + Journal More = WinTurn Yourself Into A Monster: What To Do When People Around You Are Not Encouraging Or SupportiveDon’t Be A HeroTheir Freedom To Hate → Your Freedom To Become Great“Do what you love [...] [...] ResistanceSocial ResistanceReading and RespectabilityFlame Less + Journal More = WinTurn Yourself Into A Monster: What To Do When People Around You Are Not Encouraging Or SupportiveDon’t Be A HeroTheir Freedom To Hate → Your Freedom To Become Great“Do what you love [...]

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]]> By: Ryan http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-109468 Ryan Wed, 29 Jun 2011 03:22:35 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-109468 Leave something on, even if it's on mute. Leave a Japanese book open.. leave a DVD with the Japanese subs turned on. Leave something on, even if it’s on mute. Leave a Japanese book open.. leave a DVD with the Japanese subs turned on.

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]]> By: Akatsuki http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-109137 Akatsuki Tue, 28 Jun 2011 13:33:07 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-109137 Any advice for when (on an unrelated matter to Japanese) your Mom is irrationally angry at you and you just can't bring yourself to do your reps/watch TV/read Japanese? I sure could benefit from that right now... Any advice for when (on an unrelated matter to Japanese) your Mom is irrationally angry at you and you just can’t bring yourself to do your reps/watch TV/read Japanese?

I sure could benefit from that right now…

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]]> By: khatzumoto http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-104545 khatzumoto Thu, 16 Jun 2011 01:38:23 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-104545 The Language Learner's Prayer | AJATT | All Japanese All The Time http://bit.ly/lT3ob7 The Language Learner’s Prayer | AJATT | All Japanese All The Time bit.ly/lT3ob7

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]]> By: Heisig Kanji FTW http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-99069 Heisig Kanji FTW Mon, 23 May 2011 03:14:28 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-99069 Once again, an amazing post Khatz. How do *I* deal with social resistance? In a nutshell: 1. If the person is not supportive, and deals more bad than good stuff onto me, I ditch him/her out of my life. Plain and simple. 2. If that person does much more good than harm to me but it's just not supportive with X idea, I tell him/her that as weird as it seems, I know what I'm doing, and would also tell her/him something like: "Come on dude/gal, have some faith in me! :D" 3. If the person is a complete biatch to me, but it happens to be the person that maintains me economically (thus he/she can't be ditched): I do something even better than not arguing. I tell them they are absolutely right (even when they are not), tell them exactly what they want to hear, and then just go work on what I wish, either the journey of becoming fluent in English/Japanese through immersion, or becoming successful in Internet Marketing. BTW, I can't find the post called "Are You The World's B*tch?"!! I even searched in Google and nothing! Do you guys know where it went? I love that post, it's almost the best of all AJATT in my opinion... D: Once again, an amazing post Khatz.

How do *I* deal with social resistance? In a nutshell:

1. If the person is not supportive, and deals more bad than good stuff onto me, I ditch him/her out of my life. Plain and simple.

2. If that person does much more good than harm to me but it’s just not supportive with X idea, I tell him/her that as weird as it seems, I know what I’m doing, and would also tell her/him something like: “Come on dude/gal, have some faith in me! :D ”

3. If the person is a complete ****** to me, but it happens to be the person that maintains me economically (thus he/she can’t be ditched):
I do something even better than not arguing. I tell them they are absolutely right (even when they are not), tell them exactly what they want to hear, and then just go work on what I wish, either the journey of becoming fluent in English/Japanese through immersion, or becoming successful in Internet Marketing.

BTW, I can’t find the post called “Are You The World’s B*tch?”!! I even searched in Google and nothing! Do you guys know where it went? I love that post, it’s almost the best of all AJATT in my opinion… D:

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]]> By: Tyler http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-66585 Tyler Thu, 23 Dec 2010 16:34:43 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-66585 That should be epic. And probably one of the best ideas I've seen. I might join you. That should be epic. And probably one of the best ideas I’ve seen. I might join you.

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]]> By: doviende http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-66534 doviende Thu, 23 Dec 2010 09:35:03 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-66534 Hey Khatz, just noticed your tweet linking here to my comment above. I talked a lot about my various methods for learning languages on my blog that was linked in my username on the comment: http://languagefixation.wordpress.com/ This past year I've been working on Swedish and Esperanto as well as German, all using whatever TV, movies, books, audiobooks, etc that I could find. For Swedish lately, I've been using "Avatar: the last airbender", which has a swedish dub. Next project is Dutch. I've created some parallel texts in Dutch/English for the Harry Potter books (using ebooks and a program called "hunalign" that matches up the sentences automagically). In one month, I'm going to try to read all the Harry Potter books (all 1.1 million words) while listening to the audiobooks, and following along with the translation in my sentence-by-sentence parallel text. Hey Khatz, just noticed your tweet linking here to my comment above. I talked a lot about my various methods for learning languages on my blog that was linked in my username on the comment: languagefixation.wordpress.com/

This past year I’ve been working on Swedish and Esperanto as well as German, all using whatever TV, movies, books, audiobooks, etc that I could find. For Swedish lately, I’ve been using “Avatar: the last airbender”, which has a swedish dub.

Next project is Dutch. I’ve created some parallel texts in Dutch/English for the Harry Potter books (using ebooks and a program called “hunalign” that matches up the sentences automagically). In one month, I’m going to try to read all the Harry Potter books (all 1.1 million words) while listening to the audiobooks, and following along with the translation in my sentence-by-sentence parallel text.

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]]> By: Flame Less + Journal More = Win | AJATT | All Japanese All The Time http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-61533 Flame Less + Journal More = Win | AJATT | All Japanese All The Time Thu, 25 Nov 2010 01:58:22 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-61533 [...] does it matter whether people agree or disagree with you? Their opinions are irrelevant either way. You’re not trying to be liked or disliked, [...] [...] does it matter whether people agree or disagree with you? Their opinions are irrelevant either way. You’re not trying to be liked or disliked, [...]

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]]> By: 星空 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-60617 星空 Wed, 17 Nov 2010 01:23:41 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-60617 @musume! and all teh rest of you people all of us gaijin外人 learning Japanesse are not Nihonjin by blood, but by SOUL 魂, if you catch my drift.　日本の魂を持ってると信じて。 shut all negativity in a cold dark place where it can shrivel & die, 例えばthe 'fridge, and down that ramune！ don't go for the cola unless it says コーラ on the label. on another note, a wise person, whose name i forget, said that 9X% of all statistics are bogus. pure garbage . @musume! and all teh rest of you people

all of us gaijin外人 learning Japanesse are not Nihonjin by blood, but by SOUL 魂, if you catch my drift.　日本の魂を持ってると信じて。
shut all negativity in a cold dark place where it can shrivel & die, 例えばthe ‘fridge, and down that ramune！
don’t go for the cola unless it says コーラ on the label.

on another note, a wise person, whose name i forget, said that 9X% of all statistics are bogus. pure garbage .

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]]> By: Kane http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-57761 Kane Sun, 17 Oct 2010 21:33:02 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-57761 "Let your Japanese skills do the talking." You pretty much hit the nail on the head with that sentence alone. I learned two languages on my own, one to near-perfect fluency, the other to very good. (German and Chinese) Now if I tell anyone I'm learning a new language using so and so method, I don't really care whether or not they think it's a scientifically proven method. (Science can't keep up with the faculties and complexities of the mind anyway) After all, I've done it before. I speak German all the time since I live in Germany now, and I speak Chinese every day with my fiancée who is Chinese. Who's going to argue with me Oo? Someone who only speaks one language? Pah. Don't let anyone talk down any method you read up or invent yourself to learn a language or do anything really. The mind is a flexible being that will use ANY method to learn a language or anything else if you are interested. (I learned German by reading novels with zero fluency and checking every word in the dictionary and writing down the English translation, and I learned Chinese by watching Chinese medieval fantasy series, chatting, and talking...) So in short, do whatever works, above all, do whatever you want! “Let your Japanese skills do the talking.”

You pretty much hit the nail on the head with that sentence alone. I learned two languages on my own, one to near-perfect fluency, the other to very good. (German and Chinese) Now if I tell anyone I’m learning a new language using so and so method, I don’t really care whether or not they think it’s a scientifically proven method. (Science can’t keep up with the faculties and complexities of the mind anyway) After all, I’ve done it before. I speak German all the time since I live in Germany now, and I speak Chinese every day with my fiancée who is Chinese. Who’s going to argue with me Oo? Someone who only speaks one language? Pah.

Don’t let anyone talk down any method you read up or invent yourself to learn a language or do anything really. The mind is a flexible being that will use ANY method to learn a language or anything else if you are interested. (I learned German by reading novels with zero fluency and checking every word in the dictionary and writing down the English translation, and I learned Chinese by watching Chinese medieval fantasy series, chatting, and talking…)

So in short, do whatever works, above all, do whatever you want!

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]]> By: Elaine http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-52254 Elaine Thu, 12 Aug 2010 07:03:26 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-52254 Buahaha, relevant link! http://ezinearticles.com/?Shake-it-Ofaf-and-Step-Up&id=4464621 Buahaha, relevant link!

ezinearticles.com/?Shake-it-Ofaf-and-Step-Up&id=4464621

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]]> By: khatzumoto http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-49140 khatzumoto Mon, 19 Jul 2010 09:12:31 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-49140 >Now that I speak pretty decent German however, there are still naysayers. As soon as I mention that my grandparents spoke German, people dismiss all of the work that I had to do and say that I was predestined to speak German (even though they lived 2000km away from me my whole life). Oh my gosh...I HATE that. I bet Asian-American kids get it all the time :D It's just bait-and switch tactics. Whatever evidence they are shown, they will use it to protect their theories. Say you wanna do it? They tell you you can't. You get it done? They tell you it was easy for you...It's like it's a deliberate prank on a massive scale. Maybe everyone is punking us, man...I dunno :P Excellent work on the Deutsch, though! :D Do you have a specific blog post/series of posts on it you can link us to? >Now that I speak pretty decent German however, there are still naysayers. As soon as I mention that my grandparents spoke German, people dismiss all of the work that I had to do and say that I was predestined to speak German (even though they lived 2000km away from me my whole life).

Oh my gosh…I HATE that. I bet Asian-American kids get it all the time :D

It’s just bait-and switch tactics. Whatever evidence they are shown, they will use it to protect their theories. Say you wanna do it? They tell you you can’t. You get it done? They tell you it was easy for you…It’s like it’s a deliberate prank on a massive scale. Maybe everyone is punking us, man…I dunno :P

Excellent work on the Deutsch, though! :D
Do you have a specific blog post/series of posts on it you can link us to?

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]]> By: doviende http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-49137 doviende Mon, 19 Jul 2010 09:00:27 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-49137 After sucking at German years ago in high school, I started back on German again last year, using a lot of the AJATT concepts. I watched Star Trek: Deep Space 9 in german, CSI in german, read the whole series of Harry Potter in German while listening to the German audiobooks simultaneously....lots of things, all in German, all the time. Lots of people didn't believe it would work, but it did. Now that I speak pretty decent German however, there are still naysayers. As soon as I mention that my grandparents spoke German, people dismiss all of the work that I had to do and say that I was predestined to speak German (even though they lived 2000km away from me my whole life). One thing you can do, however, is surround yourself by people who do similar things and have similar goals and values. Everyone naturally bends themselves to their surroundings, so if you surround yourself by cool supportive people then you'll feel much happier and have more ability to ignore the other people who are getting you down. After sucking at German years ago in high school, I started back on German again last year, using a lot of the AJATT concepts. I watched Star Trek: Deep Space 9 in german, CSI in german, read the whole series of Harry Potter in German while listening to the German audiobooks simultaneously….lots of things, all in German, all the time. Lots of people didn’t believe it would work, but it did.

Now that I speak pretty decent German however, there are still naysayers. As soon as I mention that my grandparents spoke German, people dismiss all of the work that I had to do and say that I was predestined to speak German (even though they lived 2000km away from me my whole life).

One thing you can do, however, is surround yourself by people who do similar things and have similar goals and values. Everyone naturally bends themselves to their surroundings, so if you surround yourself by cool supportive people then you’ll feel much happier and have more ability to ignore the other people who are getting you down.

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]]> By: Pyro-Fire http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-47313 Pyro-Fire Sat, 03 Jul 2010 15:06:21 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-47313 "How do you other AJATTeers deal with social resistance? Share!" I just deleted a long message in favor of a shorter summed-up version: I harvest support wherever i can find it. If people don't want to support me with it, thats fine, theres still room to be friends if we share common ground (like games :3). If people want to have a negative effect on me (like if they go "zomg why you studying japanese, f*g") i'll just tell them to f*k off and leave me alone. If someone isn't even willing to atleast accept what i do, they aren't worth talking to. Oh and i'll note here for all those people who don't really have any support at all, Look on the internet. Trust me, a LOT of gamers are interested in japanese (if not at least enjoy watching anime). Me being one of said gamers. Or if you're not into games, sites like this one (ajatt) can easily provide the support you're looking for. Heres one site i recommend that has an active shoutbox (kinda like a live-chat type thing) with many people who will happily chat with you and support you. http://www.studyjapanese.org/ This is my $0.02. Have fun guys! ~Pyro “How do you other AJATTeers deal with social resistance? Share!”

I just deleted a long message in favor of a shorter summed-up version:

I harvest support wherever i can find it. If people don’t want to support me with it, thats fine, theres still room to be friends if we share common ground (like games :3).
If people want to have a negative effect on me (like if they go “zomg why you studying japanese, f*g”) i’ll just tell them to f*k off and leave me alone. If someone isn’t even willing to atleast accept what i do, they aren’t worth talking to.

Oh and i’ll note here for all those people who don’t really have any support at all, Look on the internet. Trust me, a LOT of gamers are interested in japanese (if not at least enjoy watching anime). Me being one of said gamers.
Or if you’re not into games, sites like this one (ajatt) can easily provide the support you’re looking for.

Heres one site i recommend that has an active shoutbox (kinda like a live-chat type thing) with many people who will happily chat with you and support you.
www.studyjapanese.org/

This is my $0.02.
Have fun guys!

~Pyro

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]]> By: Koneko http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-41189 Koneko Tue, 27 Apr 2010 15:31:19 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-41189 I acctually have a similar issue. My mom hates that I want to 'waste' so much time on a language I will not 'need' until I am an adult and my dream of living in japan can acctually happen. Her comment was: "24/7?? You need to acctually have a life and friends." I refuse to argue with her because its pointless and time consuming, but it still bothers me... My real reasons for learning japanese NOW is so that I can watch anime and read manga with no english translation XD Wonderful reasoning, right? She acctually wants me to learn spanish, and endlessly claims it will be more useful, only because here in Southern California we are so close to Mexico that many people around us speak spanish. (I personally dislike spanish. Not spanish /people/ but the language itself. Japanese is so much prettier) Also, my entire family hates japanese music with a passion (but I love it to peices~ been listening to in almost non-stop for a month before I even found this site) so I can only play it in my room or through headphones. Either way they tell me Im too shut in. Plus, the TV is almost always on, and of course its english. That alone is hard to ignore. So yeah, thats all I have to complain about, and now that I read this article I can happily ignore them and just keep going. I know one day I'll show them how much good it did. So, yeah, thanks~ Koneko (my self given nickname/pen name) P.S. In southern California do we really say energy that differently? XD If we do, I guess I never noticed. I acctually have a similar issue. My mom hates that I want to ‘waste’ so much time on a language I will not ‘need’ until I am an adult and my dream of living in japan can acctually happen. Her comment was: “24/7?? You need to acctually have a life and friends.” I refuse to argue with her because its pointless and time consuming, but it still bothers me… My real reasons for learning japanese NOW is so that I can watch anime and read manga with no english translation XD Wonderful reasoning, right? She acctually wants me to learn spanish, and endlessly claims it will be more useful, only because here in Southern California we are so close to Mexico that many people around us speak spanish. (I personally dislike spanish. Not spanish /people/ but the language itself. Japanese is so much prettier)

Also, my entire family hates japanese music with a passion (but I love it to peices~ been listening to in almost non-stop for a month before I even found this site) so I can only play it in my room or through headphones. Either way they tell me Im too shut in. Plus, the TV is almost always on, and of course its english. That alone is hard to ignore.

So yeah, thats all I have to complain about, and now that I read this article I can happily ignore them and just keep going. I know one day I’ll show them how much good it did. So, yeah, thanks~

Koneko (my self given nickname/pen name)

P.S. In southern California do we really say energy that differently? XD If we do, I guess I never noticed.

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]]> By: AD http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-27919 AD Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:08:22 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-27919 genius article. you say you aren't smart but you don't fool me ;) haha. genius article. you say you aren’t smart but you don’t fool me ;) haha.

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]]> By: All Japanese All The Time Dot Com: How to learn Japanese. On your own, having fun and to fluency. » Surrogate Mother: The Proper, Correct And Only Way To Do Private Tutoring http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-27764 All Japanese All The Time Dot Com: How to learn Japanese. On your own, having fun and to fluency. » Surrogate Mother: The Proper, Correct And Only Way To Do Private Tutoring Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:20:56 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-27764 [...] enough culturally insensitive comments. The point is: extreme behavior is useful. Extreme praise and kindness can fuel confidence; extreme meanness can fuel reflection and drive; [...] [...] enough culturally insensitive comments. The point is: extreme behavior is useful. Extreme praise and kindness can fuel confidence; extreme meanness can fuel reflection and drive; [...]

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]]> By: HiddenSincerity http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-26462 HiddenSincerity Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:40:56 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-26462 @musume If your friends are anything like mine where when I first started, they're just feeling a little insecure that they're going to loose you to Japan, that you prefer Japanese people over them and that you no longer appreciate the culture they share with you. I know, lame. Once I understood that, it became much easier to deal with them. Anyway, here's a paraphrased from memory and PG-ised version of an e-mail I sent to a friend who was the last one to come around to the idea: "I have to do this. This is no longer a choice for me any more. I have to get fluent, not for anyone else, but me. I want to know what it's like to speak to [Japanese friends' names] without fumbling my way through. I mean, I want to speak to them like I speak to you. If I met you and I didn't speak your native language, I probably would be doing the same thing. And I know it might be scary that I'm not going to be around. And I might not be here for your 21st, or your wedding, but I'll do my best. Worst comes to worse, I'll use skype and you can stick me on a chair in the back. But this isn't something I'm going to quit for you, any more than you'd quit drumming if I asked you to. I hope you can understand." @musume
If your friends are anything like mine where when I first started, they’re just feeling a little insecure that they’re going to loose you to Japan, that you prefer Japanese people over them and that you no longer appreciate the culture they share with you. I know, lame. Once I understood that, it became much easier to deal with them.
Anyway, here’s a paraphrased from memory and PG-ised version of an e-mail I sent to a friend who was the last one to come around to the idea:
“I have to do this. This is no longer a choice for me any more. I have to get fluent, not for anyone else, but me. I want to know what it’s like to speak to [Japanese friends' names] without fumbling my way through. I mean, I want to speak to them like I speak to you. If I met you and I didn’t speak your native language, I probably would be doing the same thing.
And I know it might be scary that I’m not going to be around. And I might not be here for your 21st, or your wedding, but I’ll do my best. Worst comes to worse, I’ll use skype and you can stick me on a chair in the back. But this isn’t something I’m going to quit for you, any more than you’d quit drumming if I asked you to.
I hope you can understand.”

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]]> By: Musume! http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/turn-yourself-into-a-monster-what-to-do-when-people-around-you-are-not-encouraging-or-supportive#comment-26443 Musume! Wed, 21 Oct 2009 10:34:09 +0000 http://www.alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/?p=417#comment-26443 My friends are pretty horrible when it comes to me learning Jap. They say stuff like "You aren't Japanese". Then I say, I'm no longer foreign because I don't believe I'm foreign. Then they say "That's a load of bull, if you were meant to learn Japanese you would have been born on Japanese soil". Then I say that's a load of bull. Any tips for getting past this? My friends are pretty horrible when it comes to me learning ***. They say stuff like “You aren’t Japanese”. Then I say, I’m no longer foreign because I don’t believe I’m foreign. Then they say “That’s a load of bull, if you were meant to learn Japanese you would have been born on Japanese soil”. Then I say that’s a load of bull.

Any tips for getting past this?

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